Stressed out Thurdsay

This Thursday, things seemed to be fairly normal at first.

I showed up to work on time. My boss showed up a couple hours later for a monthly meeting.

He comes to me with a message from upper management. It drove me nuts. It seems every month the managers get together and make decisions without all the facts.

Things have been changed mid stream, and there is mass confusion with the group that just joined us. I am being told now from upper management that we are not doing the mailings that I was told to explain to all of the new agents that we were doing through emails. Now people are wanting to send me names for mailings, but I am not supposed to be doing them? I do great work when there I have clear instruction on what is to be done. I am getting too much conflicting information.

Beyond that, there was some more business we needed to talk about.

The conversation did not go as well as I would have liked. I tried to listen the best I could, but I screwed up more than once interjecting. I told my boss later in an email that I need to work at my communication skills, more specifically my listening skills. I told him we need more practice discussing business. When this conversation started he told me he had to leave in about 10 min, so make it quick. It seems that he wants to avoid the business all together and leave it in my hands while he goes and makes deals he doesn't understand.

I don't know what I am going to do. I will try take things one day at a time. I have a tendency to want to make things happen overnight. But it has been over half a year, and I have made no progress in starting a real structure for my business.

The day was so stressful for me I could hardly eat.
When I got home, I had so much stress energy, I just started intensely working out on very little food. I started walking in circles around my apartment complex. I saw a friend and asked how he was and he said "I am living but not livid." I told him I wanted to be there. I and also asked how did he get there? He said he takes things one day at a time and tries not to get ahead of God. I responded with "True words of wisdom" I eventually walked most of the energy out and was able to sit down and eat some fajitas.

I had a difficult time falling asleep at first. I ran my air conditioner a little cooler and made it a little darker and finally managed to shut my mind off and go to sleep mode.