Overdrive Monday

This Monday, I got up and made some breakfast.
I had a little coffee.
I was hurting quite a bit this Monday.
My muscles were all tense and I had a terrible case of the shakes.
I took an early dose of my klonopin and tried to chill out.
Things at work were pretty much the usual.
We need a part that is on order. I usually keep one on hand, but somehow we missed that one.

I walked around my apartments quite a bit after work.
I talked to a few neighbors, worked on some laundry.
I went for a late night bike ride as the sun was setting to the grocery store.
I was sure to stay out of the roads, wear my helmet, and use all my flashing lights.

I survived the night.

I slept OK. I seemed to dream quite a bit.

Made it to Church on time

I broke the cycle of not attending again!

I made it on time to church for worship
The church service was nice and ended in singing one of my favorite church hymns.
"Victory in Jesus"

A few people have come up to me after hearing my proud voice singing in church and said that I need to get up there and either help lead at times or join the choir. I just smiled and shrugged and said thanks. I do not want to commit and devote to too much right now, but I am prayerfully where my place and purpose is and how much I should take on.

I attended the quarterly meeting after church.

We had difficult import decisions to make in budget planning.
The motions were made and passed to allow for the money to come out of reserves and invest into our current location on some remodeling and getting the building up to code now that it is apparent we are not changing locations any time soon.

We have a long road of renovation and revitalization ahead of us.
We don't have a clear picture of our goal yet, but we are working on it.

Much like my life, we are taking things a few steps at a time.

We all seem to accept that our fate is not completely in our hands.

To some, that is a terrifying notion, but to those that have true faith in a God that is in control and uses all forces to work for good, it is a spiritual understanding that brings peace.

Third Day's Wonderful Music and lyrics are playing through my rhapsody player right now

Take My Life Third Day Offerings II: All I Have To Give

How many times have I turned away
The number is the same as the sand on the shore
Every time you have taken me back
Now I pray that you do it once more

Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to You
Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to You Jesus.

How many times have I gone astray
The number is the same as the stars in the skies
Every time you've taken me back
Now I pray that you do it tonight.

Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to You
Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to You Jesus.

I also watched an old movie called Tron with a couple of friends a a friends apartment near mine. I though it was some really corny old sci-fi stuff. I watched it and almost dozed off.

Deacon Family Saturday

This Saturday, I attended a gathering with my church deacon family at the deacon's place.

We had a fairly good turn out. The space seemed limited, I couldn't imagine that many more people showing up in that small of a place. The house wasn't small, but there wasn't a large common area. We could somewhat sprawl between the living room and the kitchen. It was quaint. It was a nicely decorated and clean place to have a gathering.

I ended up in fairly deep conversations with one of the guys from church. I felt if I may have talked more than I listened at times. I will have other opportunities to get together with the group and be more of a part of it. It is nice having a church family. I spent nearly four hours in fellowship there.

I came home and played my bass a bit. A friend of mine came over and knocked on the door and called, but I didn't answer because I was playing my bass and music so loud I didn't hear him. I called him back and he came back over. We talked for several hours.

I went to bed around midnight or so.

Finally Friday

Well, it is finally Friday.

I wish I could get some more activity going comfortably around the office.

It always seems that there is either so much work to do, we are scrambling to get it done, or so little that we are twiddling our thumbs.

I constantly seek that balance.

I keep up my hopes that I can help keep this current program running smoothly with little involvement needed as I transition into something more fulfilling.

My creativity is a bit stifled today.

Sometimes the creativity flows with ease, and other times it just goes stagnant.

When I have a task to preform, I can get it done. Having the creativity and foresight to create work for myself that only helps insure I stay in the same position that is barely sustaining me is quite difficult.

But it is FRIDAY :) I can wrap things up pretty soon here and try to relax a bit.

Something I have been having a bit of a difficult time doing lately.

Dr. Wayne Dyer speaks of how therapeutic being on purpose can be.

I was listening to an interview of Sy Sternberg published on AdvisorToday, the previous CEO of New York Life, also speaks of how fulfilling life can be when you feel you are making a positive impact and have purpose.

It makes me want to really make that little enterprise I have built in my mind work.

It may come down to me asking to become what I have been working for.

I don't know where my life will take me, but I agree with Dr. Wayne Dyer on one thing for sure: Each experience in my life has purpose.

It isn't my job to change the order of the universe, rather to align myself with the order of the universe.

I am thankful for church friends, friends at work, a job, a way to get to work, a place to stay, enough money coming in to hold ground.

I continue aspire for more.

I work at not being driven by fear, rather by aspiration to do greater things in this world.

Perfect love casts out all fear.

I have much on the brain.
I want to help in so many ways.
I feel as if I am beginning to find my higher purpose.

New Tools Thursday

I was frustrated trying to design 4 up postcards in Microsoft Word.

Microsoft Word is a great word processor that has capabilities that go far beyond just typing a letter. However, it isn't the best page layout program. It wasn't designed for that. I finally grumbled and threw out an analogy that I knew my boss would understand. I said, "This is like playing baseball with a broomstick!" He asked what I meant by that, and I told him if I had Publisher I would have the postcard done by now, and I had already spent over an hour on it and couldn't seem to get it to line up right. He conceded and decided that he had heard enough of my gripes, and went and picked up a copy of Publisher 2007 and brought it to me immediately. Publisher isn't really for professional designers that want their work to go to press, but it is great for desktop publishing short runs, which is pretty much all we do. I was able to whip out that postcard with much better quality and accuracy after I got the program installed. I know there is much more potential with the program that I will probably ever use, but it is a valuable tool for my job. Hopefully with enough creativity, I can make this investment more than pay for itself for my boss.

I felt really good about winning a small battle. Perhaps could have encouraged him in a less aggravating manner, but it certainly was effective!

Wacky Wednesday

Today wasn't the usual Wednesday for me.

I did go to work and handled a few things at the office.

I showed up a little early to cut a check to Susan G Komen Three Day Walk for a benefit showing of Get Smart.

I went home for a min and then went up to see the movie. It was a good movie, a little lame at times, but it was good. Unfortunately, I began to get a migraine towards the end of the movie. There was a raffle drawing, but I didn't win anything. I still felt good about donating to a good cause.

I don't figure it was a combination of the change in atmospheric pressure as the storms came in, and the noise from the movie that triggered the migraine. I made it home before the storm hit. It really wasn't much of a storm. Just a little lightning and some wind and a little drizzle after I got home. I talked to my mother for a a while and tried to wind down.

Knowing I had a full day ahead of me, I went to bed at a fairly decent hour.

Another Two Job Tuesday

Today is another two job Tuesday.

Before work, I managed to get a nice haircut. I showed up at a good time. I didn't have an appointment, but when I showed up I immediately saw my favorite and said "ah (his first name) is here." He asked if I was ready for a haircut and I got right in. I was quite happy about that cause I was overdue.

I showed up to work and my assistant was extremely frustrated with a spreadsheet. I managed to help her out and calm her down a bit and get eat a quick salad before I got on the clock.

An ongoing problem I have been trying to get some attention on finally got some attention from above. I was very impressed with the way my boss handled the situation so far. Maybe we will find a way to stop incurring some of these outlandish overage and supply expenses we have been dealing with.

I have a little more time before I head for home and to job two on the check stands.
I am watching out for the scams more closely now. Our store lost over 4,500 in bad checks from the same fraudulent people recently! I will be asking for ID and refusing sales for no ID without approval from management and it may drive away some legitimate customers, but they are going to have to realize that we really have to watch out for identity theft right now. It is getting bad. It is for the benefit of everyone that we looking more closely at the payment we receive.

I am thankful to be here serving.
I am living.
This is life!

Sleepy Sunday

I slept most of this Sunday away.

This is the third week in a row that I didn't make myself get up in time and push myself to go to church. Ironic, because generally when I make it to church, it usually gives me the boost I need.

I got out and fed some animals in the park around my apartments.

The heat must have zapped my energy, or maybe it was the lack of sleep the days prior.

All I know is it didn't take long and I was wiped out and took a very long nap.

I didn't wake up again till around 6 PM, when a friend of mine brought over a dirt bike he had been working on.

I was impressed with what he had done with it. When he bought the dirt bike, it wasn't in the best of condition. The bike looks completely different now, almost looks like a brand new bike.

We hung out for a bit and we were going to go do a little shopping, but ended up waiting on a friend, and by the time she left the stores we had intended to go to were closed.

We looked up a what a homo polar motor was. We didn't have the right kind of magnet to make our own, but it was an interesting concept. I don't understand the physics behind it.

We talked about environmental issues, physics, school, and just about everything really.

We had a nice time just chatting about the infinite possibilities in the world around us.

After the day was all over, I realized I didn't attend the jam session in Garland at Zion Gate Records. It is sad that it took a tragedy for me to hear about the awesome efforts these guys made getting into the recording industry.

All in all, Sunday was a good day. I got some rest. I enjoyed talking with my friends and hanging out.

Saturday with friends.

This Saturday, my parents went to go visit my grandfather. I didn't get my stuff together and go. I stayed at home and visited with my friends.

A neighbor of mine called and we just kept talking on the phone and I kept having to charge it up.

He finally came over and we talked for quite a while.

Some other friends came over. They were inviting me to a dinner at a friend's, but I didn't want to leave my neighbor hanging out alone. I really didn't want to do any driving either.

We went to the book store, and I got Real Magic by Wayne Dyer. Its one of his older books, but I have heard good things about it. It was a paperback at half priced books, so I didn't spend much more than a few dollars on it. I am wanting to read more and more, see more movies, and hear new music. I am like Johnny Five from Short Circuit "MORE INPUT MORE INPUT"

We went to get a Burrito over at the Chipoltle.

We stayed up and talked for a few more hours.

I finally went to bed pretty late again.

Finally Friday

Well its finally Friday. I didn't get much sleep last night.
People were talking about someone who went nuts around the office screaming at people and left multiple messages being quite upset on various manager's voice mails.
I was asked to print up pictures of the guy for the security guards.

I worked on my little project of building prospect lists for some established agents that might be interested in doing a mailing.

I took care of the other little things around the office.

I stayed pretty busy the whole day.

I was a bit down and out, but I figure its just because I didn't get much rest last night.

I felt tired and wanted to go to sleep when I got home. I wound up talking on the phone with a friend from high school for quite a while. After that, I went for a bike ride to return the movie (Witless Protection Program (IMDB link)) I had rented. I enjoyed riding around a bit.

My friend came over looking for her ID she had lost. We didn't find it. (update it was found in the couch days later)

A couple of other friends stopped by and we got to hang out a while.

It was pretty good day in the end.

Keeping Busy Thursday

I was in a pretty good mood today.

I got to work on time, actually a little early, and I saw my boss came to work.
He got to work before i did.

A storm came through just after I arrived at work.

I didn't have a whole lot of work to keep my busy, but I listened to some good sales techniques through pod casts on Advisors Today's website. Something in one of the podcasts made me giggle, and my boss said something along the fact of "Did I just hire an teenage girl as an assistant?" I just responded with "You hired him about seven years ago."

When my boss left around lunch time, he told me to keep busy and gave me a little project to do.

I worked on the project some, and it just seemed to take more effort than it should.

After 5, I went straight home to try to win something on BINGO. They were giving away gift certificates to Macys, Old Navy, Trinity Hall, and even $100 off the rent.

I unfortunately, didn't win any of those prizes, but it passed the time and I got to meet some people.

Afterwards, I called my friend and we went to the DVD kiosk and rented Whitnes Protection Program with Larry the Cable Guy in it. It was a pretty funny movie.

I went to bed late.

Another full workday ahead of me.

Go ahead Wednesday

This morning, I had a follow up appointment with my physician.

They just checked the usual vital signs.
Blood pressure, weight, gait, etc.

Thats when we realized I have lost nine pounds in three months.
When I was asked if I had intended to, I was slow to answer.
I really did want to loose some inches and was working at it, but I wasn't looking to loose weight. At this point my goal is to increase muscle mass.
I still look at is as progress, because I did loose the inches, and the fat is the most difficult to loose.

I admitted that I had reduced my dose of one medication on my own slowly and that I was at a comfortable place with it and didn't want to move either direction at the moment. My doctor surprisingly did not act a bit disappointed. Some doctors get quite upset if a patient slowly adjusts their dose without consulting with them first. He sees that I have made some progress and seems comfortable with the path I am on.

He listened intently to my heart for a minute and said things sounded quite normal.

He gave me the go ahead to get started in a new biathlon exercise program being offered that involves running and swimming.

I am going to be sure to fuel my body to keep from loosing too much weight.

I am fairly content with the progress I have made so far.

I still have other goals I have to work on. In particular making work more worthwhile for everyone involved or finding a place where I can thrive.

These are efforts I don't take lightly.
I have a tendency to over analyze these situations.
I think if I spent more time in action less time analyzing I would get more done.
There is a delicate balance between the two though. Processes have to be defined and honed along the way for efficiency. Some planning and research is required. I also know I don't want to try to get ahead of God. From what I understand when you try to get ahead of God, eventually you tire out and have to seek comfort and rest and restoration when you stop.

I am thankful for every day.
I will take things one day at a time

Whirlwind Tuesday

I woke up early this Tuesday.

I did a little bit of laundry and a bit of house chores, and just otherwise took it easy for the first part of the morning.

I headed towards work, and I could see from the highway some really dark clouds hanging right over the building I was headed to. Just as I pulled into the parking lot, a whirlwind came right behind me. It was dark black carrying debris. Rather large sparks emitted from the power lines behind me. I walked through the dark parking garage and went climbing the 10 flights of stairs immediately. The stairs were still well lit up on reserve power. The elevators were working for a short while, but I didn't want to be in them when they quit working. I made it to the top where I found my mom in the dark talking on her phone. She seemed to be OK. I pulled out the flashlight and went looking down the halls seeing if anyone was trapped in the dark. Everything was pretty much OK, just nothing much could happen till the power came back on. The power came in a little less than an hour I believe.

We were all glad to see the computer systems came up without problems.

A few hours from now, I can go home and put on the next uniform and go to the check stands.

Yay, what a day.

Happy Father's Day

I was exhausted today.

I had been tying to come up with something meaningful to present as a gift to my father for quite a while. I finally saw something that I though he would really like. I got an email from Borders saying it was 20% off. I rode my bicycle up to the local Borders only to find out that they were completely sold out all over town of what I came for. I was looking for the HBO series of 3 States of Anxiety about John Adams and the story of the fathers of America. I wandered around quite a while trying to find something meaningful that I knew he would like. I wasn't sure about anything I picked up. I realized later that the one thing I came for was a bit above the budget I was trying to stay in. I went home exhausted and took a nap hoping to pick up where I left off. I slept for several hours. My father called me after hearing that I was out wandering around in the heat trying to find something special for him. He told me the last thing he wanted me to be doing was riding around out in the heat pushing myself too much. He said he didn't need anything materialistic and didn't need me to spend my hard earned money on him. I just sent him an email letting him know that I really do care, and I was really trying to find something that was meaningful, and I am glad that I have more time to do something special for him.

Exhausted still, I just went back to bed.

Come out and play Saturday

After I got home, a friend of mine called me up and pretty much begged that I come out to the clubs and see him. So, I did.

I kept wanting to go home because I really didn't want to spend money and I wasn't really in the party mood.

I stayed out and played a bit though.
I danced like a fool for a bit.
I went out on the balcony a bit and watched one guy get hauled away having a heart attack, and some other guy was taken out via ambulance. Not sure what was wrong with that guy.

It all seemed so senseless.

I came home before last call.
I like to be home before 2AM, unless I stay out until nearly 4 AM.
That 2 AM - 3 AM window is dangerous. Too many people that shouldn't be out on the roads out there then.

I made it home just a bit before 2 AM.

Road Trip Saturday

This Saturday, I didn't want to get out of bed when I woke up.

I finally got going, and bolted out the door in a hurry.
I was headed to my parents house to hitch a ride with them to go see my grandfather.

He had recently been admitted to the hospital again with some kind of infection. I had already heard and had gotten him on silent unity's prayer list. On the trip there, that was all we knew. Moments after we arrived, we were given the news that he was going to be whisked away for a quick surgery to remove his gall bladder. His gal bladder had stopped functioning for quite a while, and had come dangerously close to rupturing putting him at quite a risk. Thankfully, the surgery went well. When the surgeon came to give us the good news of how well the surgery went and the fact he was going back to a regular room, the clouds above broke and the sunlight poured in. We got to see him smile as his wife of 65 years (my grandmother)kissed him as he was waking up half groggy from the anesthesia.

I made it back home about 8 PM. It was about a twelve hour journey for me.

I was glad to see my grandfather even though it was such a short visit with him.

My prayers are with him still.

Friday the 13th

Happy Friday!

Before I went to work today, I heard Tony Zazza on Mix 102.9 complaining about how he got ratted out. He didn't want to drive to work on Friday the 13th. Last Friday the 13th, on his way home he had a flat tire. He figured he would just try to dodge the bad luck on the road and just not come to work. His co-worker called his boss and made a big deal about it. Tony had butterflies in his stomach when he went to work this morning. He said he was knocking on wood. I felt like calling him or writing him, and I may still. Knock on wood has a pagan background to it. God calls us to have faith in Him alone. A source of his fear could very well be misplaced faith. Perfect love casts out all fear.

I wish I could say I kept my cool while driving to work today. Well, if you take the word cool literally, that would be quite an accomplishment considering the temperatures and the fact I have to run my heater so my engine doesn't get damaged. But, I lost my cool when someone squeezed me out while I was trying to merge into traffic getting on the highway causing me to have to come to a almost complete stop and fall behind the person squeezing me out.

People on the roads these days are quite self centered in too many cases. I try very hard to be courteous and let people in when they are merging. I know that it is only hurting me to be upset with other peoples lack of courtesy. I will not give into this. Being angry certainly doesn't change their behavior on the road positively. I experience things over and again that really hack me off on the road. One of the things that I see people do over and again that is so aggravating is as I am entering the highway, they cross the solid line behind me and block the lane I need as I am trying to enter the highway. I am entering the highway at a good speed to. Someone even went out of turn at the stop four way stop sign today. It really aggravated me.

I remind myself of my own faith. I remind myself to remain calm, to not get aggravated by others poor driving habits. I have made my own mistakes. I remind myself to have faith and to forgive others for their mistakes. I remind myself to not be "staring daggers" at these people that cut me off on the road. I have learned the most effective way to deal with road rage is to pour out love. To open myself up as a channel of love. It is simply amazing the results I see when I apply this concept. It takes discipline though. The results are amazing.

1Co 13:13 - Show Context
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Full day Thursday

This morning, I was rushing to get out the door on time.
I was a little wound up last night and I stayed up late.
I didn't want to get moving when I first woke up, and therefore didn't give myself enough time to make myself a lunch before hitting the door.
I ran off to work and made it on time fairly peacefully.

I managed to keep myself fairly busy.
I did a little work on culling out old files and organizing what I have.
I spent more on lunch than I could have.
I handled all requests, put away all incoming faxes, and kept the equipment around here supplied. I sent out some marketing letters on behalf of an agent.


I went home and time just really seemed to fly by. I chatted a bit with a new friend I met online. I had planned to go for a little swim, but I got a text from a friend and she wanted to know if I wanted company. I said sure.

So, she came over and we watched a bit of a movie called Skin Walkers that she brought over. It was a good movie. I don't usually get into that particular type of movie, some of the stuff was ridiculously Hollywood. There was definitely some nice cinematography in the movie. Some of it was digitally enhanced, but nevertheless, there were some really great shots. Just simple stuff like the beautiful colorful sky and clouds, or the open road, or a shot of the moon phasing into a bell into another scene. Great eye candy. It interested me enough to watch a little about the making of the movie and who the creators were. If I had time, I might have watched the movie with commentary. I walked my friend to her car and went back inside.

I stayed up a bit late again, and finally forced myself to go to sleep.

Word up man

Today was an OK day.

I did a little bit of exercise in the morning.

I made it to work on time.

I got some work done, not flawlessly, but fixed the mistakes before anyone pointed them out to me.

There wasn't a whole lot to keep me busy, so I played a bit of a game called word up during the lag times.

I had a burger at the country club and watched The Bucket List.
That movie took me through quite a few emotions. Having a close friend fighting brain cancer made the movie a little more personal to me.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend that recently moved here. I was disappointed to hear the way things were going for him at work. Even more disappointed that this kind of thing is just business as usual.

Well, I had a pretty good score on word up... my top score was ranked 45 nationally.
I thought that was neat.

Thats the good word.

Two Job Tuesday

Today is two job Tuesday.

I woke up early this morning. My assistant called me and told me that she was unable to make it to work on time because of the weather. Evidently the edge of a storm coming from the east caused severe flooding in her neighborhood and on the main street she went out on and it caused her car to stall out. I told her I was going to use a coupon that was going to expire today if I didn't use it and I really needed to make that grocery trip before going to work today. I called my boss and let him know that she wasn't going to be able to make it. She didn't realize that she would have only probably been about 10 minutes late if she had just waited it out. The storm wasn't headed in the direction she was pretty much fizzled out pretty quick. She realized all this after we had made the call saying she could make it in. There really wasn't a way to know from her viewpoint. My boss came in this morning. He didn't seem bothered by it when I talked to him on the phone. He left us our paychecks. He was gone by the time I arrived about 11:40 AM.

I handled some issues with supplies around the office, a paper jam, and some other minor things.

I am going to process the mail fairly soon and then a few hours later, I get to go home and get ready for Job 2 on the check stands.

I told myself not to overwork myself today, and laughed at the idea that that was possible during my day job at the moment...and then just told myself not to get worked up and to stay peaceful. That's the most important thing. That is my main focus right now.

Stop Fuming and Fretting.

Start of the week

Its the start of the week.
Happy Monday!

I finally got that stimulus check. Sure did need it. Scary thing was, I wasn't counting on it! It is going to allow me to get some groceries. I have clipped and organized coupons and I am going to get another one just for cashing the check. All the money I have coming to me so far is already spent. Without big changes, it will be that way for a while. I can hold on to a very small bit of it, but the more I hold on to, the longer this whole already spent it scenario lasts. Most of it is going to pay down some balances a bit.

I know I am not alone in this situation, and that doesn't make it any easier.

I know I must start working more very soon, because I am not making enough progress fast enough for me.

I keep holding on to hope that I will master this thing. I will get out of this hole.

I didn't have to do too much at work. I just filled the printers with supplies and what not, processed the mail, nothing much else going on.

Tick Tock Tick Tock..the end of the day drags by.

Satisfactory Saturday

This day left me feeling fulfilled and satisfied in many ways.

I woke up pretty early. I started doing some cleaning and organizing and called a friend and let her know I was going to hang out by the pool and invited her out.
We have known each other since the fourth grade, but we rarely get together and hang out. I was very happy she did come to visit and hang out at the pool. There was quite a crowd out. We had a couple of drinks by the pool and enjoyed listening to the music they were playing. They even played boogie shoes. The pool parties around here are quite fun. I felt like I had to share with here a little about my life that I had kept very quiet about. It was nice being able to open up to her and hold nothing back.

Afterwards, a few friends came over and we all hung out.

The day was really nice, it flew by rather fast.

Tranquility

Surrender to peace.

Chapter Six of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale:
Stop Fuming and Fretting

This is a very applicable chapter in the book.

"Fret not thyself"

Do you ever find yourself boiled over wasting energy?

There are some effective techniques explained in this chapter to help break that cycle.

Peace be unto you.

Funky Friday

This morning, I woke up in a rush to get out the door. I never got any breakfast. I was having quite a difficult time finding everything I needed to get ready for work. I was stressed out before I even got out of the door. I am in a bit of a funk. I managed to drive to work fairly peacefully.

Once I got to work, I delivered the work I worked on all day yesterday.
No other orders have come in.
Nothing else much going on.

Just me here watching the place waiting for my boss to respond.

I am just trying to chill.

I think I may go find some brunch soon.

Stressed out Thurdsay

This Thursday, things seemed to be fairly normal at first.

I showed up to work on time. My boss showed up a couple hours later for a monthly meeting.

He comes to me with a message from upper management. It drove me nuts. It seems every month the managers get together and make decisions without all the facts.

Things have been changed mid stream, and there is mass confusion with the group that just joined us. I am being told now from upper management that we are not doing the mailings that I was told to explain to all of the new agents that we were doing through emails. Now people are wanting to send me names for mailings, but I am not supposed to be doing them? I do great work when there I have clear instruction on what is to be done. I am getting too much conflicting information.

Beyond that, there was some more business we needed to talk about.

The conversation did not go as well as I would have liked. I tried to listen the best I could, but I screwed up more than once interjecting. I told my boss later in an email that I need to work at my communication skills, more specifically my listening skills. I told him we need more practice discussing business. When this conversation started he told me he had to leave in about 10 min, so make it quick. It seems that he wants to avoid the business all together and leave it in my hands while he goes and makes deals he doesn't understand.

I don't know what I am going to do. I will try take things one day at a time. I have a tendency to want to make things happen overnight. But it has been over half a year, and I have made no progress in starting a real structure for my business.

The day was so stressful for me I could hardly eat.
When I got home, I had so much stress energy, I just started intensely working out on very little food. I started walking in circles around my apartment complex. I saw a friend and asked how he was and he said "I am living but not livid." I told him I wanted to be there. I and also asked how did he get there? He said he takes things one day at a time and tries not to get ahead of God. I responded with "True words of wisdom" I eventually walked most of the energy out and was able to sit down and eat some fajitas.

I had a difficult time falling asleep at first. I ran my air conditioner a little cooler and made it a little darker and finally managed to shut my mind off and go to sleep mode.

Winding Down Wednesday, Finding the keys

I kept busy at work. I revamped all the brochures. I was tightly wound most of the day.

I have foreshadowed a bit with co-workers setting the stage saying some day I might just show up to work in a limo. Setting that image in not only my head, but others as well.

I stayed to myself this Wednesday. I am short on cash.
I didn't go see Semi Pro at the country club.

I hoped that someone would return an email, but I was bombarded with spam that is usually filtered out without a problem and haven't received that response I was looking for yet.

This evening I spent at home not doing much of anything at all.
I played a few games of Yahtzee. I played the against the computer algorithm for a while, and then I played myself calling the other player ego and beat ego by one point. That was the worst I had played all night. I actually scored a 519 one night! I hold myself to high standards. When I have done something once, I feel I have to be able to do it over an again. I was focusing on positive energy that night, and happy energy, and doing pretty well at it.

Choosing to be happy is a choice. Letting go every excuse to not be happy is key.
Being happy is key to success.

There, we have the keys, all we have to do is open the doors!

I am winding down trying to get ready to go to sleep.

It is getting quite late!

Slightly Frustrating Tuesday

Today, I called my assistant to warn her about something I read on Maruchan Ramen Noodles. It states on the package it is processed in a plant where shellfish and other fish are processed, and I know my assistant has a severe allergy to the iodine in shellfish, so I called to warn her about that.

I asked her if we had figured out the puzzle on compliance yet. I explained about how I had emailed a PDF to someone to submit to the Sales Material Review Unit, and that the reviewer reported she couldn't view all of the file. I emailed it to her directly and told her I was able to read the file from my computer, the agents computer, and the community PC labs. In an email, I told her if she chooses to print it before reviewing it, be sure to choose landscape. She finally said she could read the file and asked the agent to resubmit it and she would approve it. I just told my boss that SMRU is driving me nuts and there is no way we can get out what the managers are asking us and still remain within the compliance rules. Today, almost a month after the document was originally sent in it was approved. The other issue was we have an announcement postcard that we created at the request of a Sales Development Manager. When we submitted it to our local agency compliance coordinator, she said it looked good to her, but the agent must submit it first before it is mailed. I don't think I got anything resolved, he just passed it back on to me and told me to handle it and let him know how things go.

I have thirty minutes left of the day. I feel I have done enough for the day, I am kicking back a bit and going to relax before I get ready for the next job. I spent more than thirty minutes on the phone dealing with work this morning.

When I get home, I'll fix a quick meal and get ready to get on the check stands.

Yippee!

Mundane Monday

Not too much excitement this Monday.

Most of all the dairy in my fridge (eggs and milk) had expired.
I wound up only having a little yogurt for breakfast.
I will need to do a little shopping this evening when I go to return Numb.

Work has been a bit slow.
I am handling small special requests throughout the day.
I am still waiting on mailing lists from the new agents.

I have been enjoying a bit of the blues today. Robert Cray Band and some other good stuff.

About twenty minutes left here.
Then its the mad dash home.

Close friend at the small pool, DVD at home

This Sunday, I didn't to a whole lot.

I did enjoy some my pineapple orange banana Malibu Coconut Rum frozen concoction.
It's quite easy to make. One can of frozen Dole Pine Orange Banana Juice, fill one the emptied can with ice, fill the can of ice with Coconut Rum (about 10 oz) add it to the blender , and then fill one more can with ice ice and fill to top with water. Blend and enjoy. (SHARE WITH (A) FRIEND(S))

A friend of mine came over and we went to the local pool to hang out. We didn't really socialize with anyone out there, there were a few people. We pretty much kept to ourselves. We didn't stay out long, but we seemed to have a good time. We went to the Red Box Kiosk and picked up a movie called Numb staring Matthew Perry (Friends). It was a pretty good movie, I never really knew exactly where it was going to go. It wasn't a very predictable movie for me. It was a good movie. Unfortunately, I could relate too much to the main character. However, I know that I am so much better off! Thank God for that. That gives me something else to be grateful for. The fact that I am not as crazy as I have seen some people go! I am actually pretty close to sane!

My Personal Music Perscription for the day

My Rhapsody Playlist