Two Job Tuesday

Today is another two job Tuesday.

I woke up very early, as I fell asleep without dinner last night very early.
When I awoke, all of my lights were on and had been on the entire night.
I didn't expect to really go to sleep. I was just laying down for a second feeling a bit tired.

I arrived at work pretty early. I just hid a bit so I wouldn't be bothered until I was scheduled to be there. I tried to help my assistant with a few things, but my efforts only seemed to frustrate her more. She stormed out of work several minutes early. I tried not to make too much of it. I know there are quite a bit of things that are bothering her that have nothing to do with the work situation.

I still haven't figured out what other days I want to make myself available as a grocery cashier. The truth is, that isn't where I really want to be spending more my time. I haven't succeeded in creating a place for myself to be able to serve multiple agents at once under my defined rules, so I am going to have to do something.

I want to be spending more of my time doing something more rewarding.
I have ideas, but everywhere I look, it seems the doors are locked. Maybe I should be checking the windows, or looking for keys, maybe I just need to knock!?

This year is more than half over, and I have gotten even further behind on my bills.
My credit card balances are not going down, but at least my credit rating is hovering at a good place.

I have to do something quick, because I seem to be going further and further into debt month by month.

My expenses are set pretty low. I may have to give up my vehicle and sell it for parts so I don't have to continue to pay for insurance for it...as that is close to what I am paying for gas...and then there was that automated red light ticket while turning right on red with someone following closely behind me. Driving is too expensive. I own my vehicle, but it has been costly. Tires, insurance, registration, inspection, gas, it all adds up.

Then again, if I go riding my bike or walking, there really aren't safe ways to cross the street or get around town. I've been in a wreck in a car, and I've been in a wreck on a bicycle. Wrecks in cars seem to be much more tolerable, except for the insurance hikes! Public transit in this city really isn't very nice. The buses don't run often enough or close enough to schedule. The public transit won't get me home from a club at night either. I don't know what I am going to do... I just take it day by day, but right now, each day I seem to be slipping.

I may take a couple steps forward, but I seem to take a few back.

What to do? What to do?

I am staying prayerful, and trying to stay on purpose.
If I stay on purpose, I can't go wrong.

I am a truly believe in the midsts of all of this, God is in control.

All of what I am going through is a learning experience.
I will learn from this, I will grow from this.
This I know. I also know there is more to life than this life!