Happy Birthday Mom

Today was my mother's birthday.

My mom was going to come visit, but time got away from her very fast.

They were going to go out to eat at Steak and Ale, but unfortunately with Bennigans and Steak and Ale going bankrupt, they didn't get to eat there. Instead, they went to El Fenix, a great Tex Mex chain that had been family owned and operated for many years but has now been bought by Firebird. I wish I had joined them for dinner.

She didn't make it to my apartment to visit and play games. I somewhat had a full house. I had some friends stop by.

Happy Birthday Chrys

My friend Chrys had a birthday today.

I went out to the clubs to celebrate with him. There weren't many people out, but I went out to see my friend and celebrate his birthday. I got to see a robot dancing out in the middle of the dance floor. It belonged to one of the managers of the club. It was pretty cool.

I spent too much money, but I made it home safely.

Full Day Monday

Unfortunately, my assistant was too ill to come to work today.

It was a plus for my bank account, but I would rather my assistant be well. I was glad to be at work, just not glad that my assistant isn't well.

It worked out pretty good though. There was work to be done that would have been very difficult for my assistant to pull off because of physical limitations and some lack of training in certain areas. A large order came to us on Sunday. I had to replace a part on the color printer. I processed the large order which was a several step process. I had to print one side of the postcard in small groups on the color printer, then preform a mail merge on another printer, then take it to a place to get cut, and then send it through the postage machine. I got it all done. Just the usual day from that point. I do need to finish a few things up before I go.

Not there yet.

I got on the phone just before I should have headed out for church and wound up in a long conversation missing worship service again.

I decided I would at least go by and drop off some clothes for the friends ministry.

I stopped by the pet store to buy my cockatiel some food and maybe some antibiotics. I ended up with only some vitamins. They had sold out of the only brand my cockatiel eats. I dropped off some clothes at the friends ministry and then I proceeded to go to the hardware store and buy a nice new clean dowel rod for my cockatiel to perch on. I figured he needed something to perch on while I cleaned the others. I wound up buying a dowel rod that was a bit too big around. I will have to go exchange that for one that fits better. I accepted the fact that I tried and I figured I would go exchange that later on. The heat was building up out there, and I was running out of stamina.

The relay in my dryer went out on me. I wonder if that is something my apartments are going to be willing to fix. I am not sure honestly. I guess we will see at a later date. I hadn't been using my dryer a whole lot recently because the energy and time it took to dry things and the heat build up in my apartment made it seem wiser to dry at the laundry mat.

I made steps towards my goals this weekend, but I am not there yet.

Lazy Saturday with an intersting suprise

I didn't to much this Saturday.

I woke up fairly early, but I laid around a bit.

I finally got up and gave my friend a ride to the drive through so he could get some food. His parents came and picked him up fairly early that afternoon.

A friend came over and we talked a bit. I tried to help with transferring over his library of music in his I tunes software. I worked on some laundry and a bit of house cleaning.

Hours passed pretty quickly. Later on a friend of mine called me up and asked what I was up to.

I told him I wasn't doing much really, just hanging around.

He said he might stop by. Then he called me and told me he didn't have any money to do anything. I talked him into going out anyways. He came over and we hung out a bit, then we walked up to the country club. We talked with some neighbors there and left just after happy hour. As I we were walking down the street I live on at approximately 11:30 PM, we were close to my door...we passed a couple of guys. One of the guys turned around and revealed a gun, stuck it in my friend's back and said "give us all your $hi┬"

I was caught off guard. I was wearing cargo shorts, so I couldn't even find my beat up cell phone to offer to him or the keys to my totaled vehicle..(which I have theft insurance on)..My friend said, "I don't have anything and if I did I'd give it to you" which was the truth because he almost didn't come out because he had nothing in his account to come out with. He had spent what he had. I started backing away and getting to a safe distance, but I noticed my friend was still standing very close to the two guys. I tried to get my friend to duck inside the apartment complex with me... The guys walked away knowing they chose the wrong guys to pull that on....I walked straight towards the security for my apartment (and away from the guys) and informed them of what just happened while the guys were still in line of sight.

Here is the surprise:
Nobody got hurt, I didn't loose anything, and two suspects were apprehended!

Wow, I got to live to tell about it!

RIP Randy Pausch

This Friday, I worked until about 4 PM.
While I was at work I read about Randy Pausch, a professor that passed away on this day. I watched his famous last lecture. Randy Pausch was someone who knew how to live and how to have fun. He did things in his life that will be giving back for years to come. He was able to deliver a high energy speech that became a best seller while still knowing he had a very limited amount of time to live.

I headed straight home where I met up with a friend of mine who is also battling cancer. He hasn't accepted any doctor's prediction on how long he is going to live though. We didn't do much of anything really. We hung around the house and talked some. I was a bit high strung and nervous talking about the recent days events at times I found myself practically yelling. I caught myself doing this, and when I apologized to my friend he understood. He said he has found himself doing the same thing in the past. I had too much nervous energy flowing. I finally took my regular dose of medication to calm myself down a bit. Later on that night, I got very sleepy and laid down hungry. I was more sleepy than I was hungry, because it was the next morning before I woke up.

Movie Night at the country club: 21

Tonight was movie night at the country club.

I took advantage of the burger special in the past, but prices have gone up across the board. I had dinner before I went up there so I wouldn't be spending any money.
I walked up to the country club and sat out by the pool for a few minutes just relaxing a bit.

After that, I went inside and found a place and sat down and watched 21. My eyes didn't deviate from the screen really. I watched the entire movie didn't say a word to anyone, except the two that spoke to me. The movie was interesting. It was based on a true story. I took from it a few things. In this life you can generally achieve what you put your mind to, you can earn thousands and have it stolen from you more than once, and you can find other ways of reaching your dreams when your plan has fallen through more than once.

The movie left me a bit frustrated I guess because it is so close to the truth. In this life you can have it all for a short while, loose it all in a very short while, and you can earn it all again to loose it again. But the irony is that things have a way of working out.

Busy Night

Well it was a busy night for me. A cashier didn't come to work this Tuesday night. This meant for a heavier workload for me. There were several hours where I was the only one (besides the express lane) moving large baskets of groceries through the line, scanning them, bagging them up, and processing the transactions. There were quite a few two basket orders coming through my line. The totals were above three hundred dollars on some of the orders. A front line manager asked me if I wanted to stay late. I asked how late? He said 11:00... I said I will think about it.. I thought about it as I worked all the way up till 11:00, at which point I had made my decision. I was ready to go home ;)

It was a busy night. I came home with a slightly sore wrist but satisfaction knowing I did a great job. It was like a scene out of the movie Employee of the Month the speed that I was moving. This isn't all that unusual for me. I don't think I could keep that pace up if I was there for the longer shifts, but it impresses the customers once in a while.

I was glad to be able to put in a good days work.

Lazy Tuesday Morning

I woke up very early today. About 4 AM.
I had fallen asleep pretty early the night before.
I didn't even remember having dinner.

I didn't want to get up then, so I went back to sleep.
I woke up around 8 AM and had some cereal.
I could remember sleeping well enough to dream, but I couldn't remember my dreams.
I laid around until nearly 10 AM in a half dream state.

I finally got up and got some lunch and went to work.
I will work about 5 hours here, go home and have some dinner, and work about three and a half hours at the evening job.

I guess I am a bit under stimulated.

Monday Monday Monday

Well this Monday, I thought I would try something different.

I had planned on coming in early to begin learning a new field of work.
Someone I had spoken with out in the halls and around the office has his own business and said he could use some help. He didn't promise anything hourly, and nothing really concrete in what I would be making in commissions, but it sounded like an opportunity to get started in learning something new and learning the potential financial payoff in the process. It wasn't going to cost me anything but some time. All I had to do was show up a bit earlier to work than I had been doing to go see what I could learn. Unfortunately, when I showed up, the person I had been talking to was no where around. I sent him an email to call me and he did and said he would be in the office around noon. That was the the time I had to start work at the other job. So, I just hung out with my assistant upstairs and chilled out until about that time. I figured I avoided driving in the heat some that way anyways. At least I tried today. I will give it another try another day.

Tomorrow is two job Tuesday. I don't really want to show up early on Tuesday when I work till late in the evening.

Happy Birthday Dad

I woke up late. I had slept through church again.

Well I felt a bit lousy because of that.

It is my father's birthday, and he didn't even want me to spend any money on him. He knows the tight financial situation I am in. I enjoyed going and having lunch with my family and celebrating my father's birthday. I wished there was something more that I could give back than just being there. I didn't even want to drive in the heat out there. I was really fortunate that my mother came and picked me up from my apartment and even drove me back. We are getting into the heat of the summer and getting into the triple digits, and not only does my air conditioner not work in my car... the fans are jammed behind a warped radiator which means I have to run the heater to keep the engine cool. I am still thankful for a car that will get a few miles in a short amount of time and I can load up groceries in the trunk and be home in a flash. I dread having to figure out what to do when inspection comes around. I was just really glad I didn't have to drive a bit longer distance in the heat to see my father on his birthday.

I really didn't do much.
I was a bit disappointed with how little I got done, but satisfied that I got to spend so much time with friends and family.

Waiting around the apartment

I wound up waiting around my apartment the whole day.
I kept expecting a friend to show up.
Several did fairly early.

Finally, the friend I had been expecting showed up.
We had a short visit and I wound up staying up late with a neighbor watching clips of 60 minutes on his computer and listening to music and just hanging out.

I tried to make myself go to sleep, but had a difficult time.

I was up again till nearly 3 AM.

Start of the weekend

Well, its Friday.
The start of a weekend.

I did what I could at work. I started to wind down a bit before I left work.
I called on a friend and kept expecting him to come by.
Hours passed, I cleaned house a bit, did some laundry and such.
A couple friends popped by. We hung out a little bit.
I wound up getting pretty tired around 3 AM and laid down.
The timing just hasn't been right lately.
People were not showing up or showing up at the wrong times.

Dead Ant

I killed an ant today.
I saw it crawling around in my apartment. It really did nothing wrong.....other than invading my apartment.
I spared the other two ants I saw. One I showed the dead ant to went running out of the apartment into his little hiding place somewhere behind the walls or under the carpet.

I am sure all the dead ant saw was crevice that lead to food, and then some huge giant squashing him for no real purpose really.
i guess I should call an exterminator.....and then instead of killing one by one, I can get them all.

The sad thing is I didn't really want to kill that ant.

I guess in some strange way i felt i was protecting my bird, who's food they were after.

Thats also one reason i am afraid of pesticides around here, because birds are quite sensitive to that.

This makes me want to find real deterrents (almost spelled it deter ants) to keep them out of harms way, but still allow them to live their mysterious existence.

What is the purpose of an ant?

To make us feel big and powerful?

Maybe I should buy a home for my ants....a little ant farm.

(Metaphorically speaking)
I somewhat feel like an ant in this world. Sometimes I feel I am about to be squashed by the giants.
Maybe I will be one that is spared. Then I will have to deal with the horrific aftermath of the ants that do get squashed.

Long live the queen!

From down in the dumps to jumping for joy

I woke up this morning down in the dumps depressed.

I have so much I am trying to overcome, and I know I am not alone.

Rising gas prices and rising diesel fuel prices fueling rising grocery prices, the rise of restaurant food prices, and my personal loss of income had me down.

I was looking forward to going to my 10 year high school reunion with a friend I have known since the fourth grade, but she started to back out because she didn't know what she was going to wear. It all turned out to be a miscommunication because the dress code for the formal reunion is semi formal, and when I begged and pleaded she agreed that she would go. I am so happy about that. That has made my day.

I am looking forward to re-connecting with a bunch of people I saw around the halls in high school. Perhaps getting to know some of the people I never got to know. I am extremely grateful that I won't be going alone.

This really made my day!

Opportunity Knocks

Today before work, I got to talking to a friend who owns his own company.

He runs a recruiting business for medical doctors.

He has offered to let me sit in and watch and listen in on the phone on how he runs his business. There are some possible commissions that I could earn in this eventually.

At the moment, I see it as the best opportunity that has presented itself to make up some lost income that won't interfere much with what I have going on right now.

The business is in the same building where I work 30 hours a week.

I just might show up 9 AM Monday, or start staying up here later burning up the phones.

This opportunity sounds good. Not only will I be helping myself, I can help get his business back to where it was before things hit the fan for him.

I truly think this can be a golden opportunity, one with true payoff for all people involved.

sleepin away

I somewhat slept away the morning.
I was up late the night before.
I had some company come by and hang out.
I explored more music.

Sleepy Saturday

I stayed up late Friday night with a friend and we listened to some dance/trance from France.
We didn't do much else really.
we just hung out a bit.
my friend left early in the afternoon to go to a relatives graduation.

Tune In

I am tuning in to the love and the spirit that encompasses us all.
Just like your the airwaves that pass through us unknown to us.....we don't recognize them until we tune in with our radios. Whether or not we are in tune with it or not, its there. The Holy Spirit is always there, all we have to do is tune ourselves to receive it.

I am tuning myself now. God reigns. His love reigns. The music of Delirious? helps me tune in.

This energy is something I don't stay tuned into enough.
This is the energy that sustains life.
Peace love and abundance flows through me.

I wonder why I ever allow myself to resonate with anything other.

Peace to the world.

Out of Step Wedesday

Well, shoot.

I realized when I got home those reload disks were for a Toshiba Satelite.
I have know a few pople with those, but the one I was given with the broken screen was a Compaq Armada.

I don't have the disks I need to rebuild the Compaq. The Compaq Armada I have was manufactured before Compaq was bought out, so the support isn't available for free on it.

This laptop is almost useless in its current condition, just more junk I am going to try to dispose of with as little detremental impact to the ecology as possible.

BLAH!

Step By Step Wednesday

I keep taking a step at a time.

I know I can't just be at my final destination without the journey.

I tried to improve the business cards I have at work because my assistant said it looked off balance. I messed with it for a long while trying to make something look better. I finally quit saying "If it doesn't fit, then I must quit!" I just couldn't fit everything into the template without making the info tiny.

Someone gave me a couple of CDs today that I might be able to use to rebuild an old laptop. One has a pretty deep gouge in it, but I am hopeful that it will work anyways.

This could be my ticket to having a Windows XP system at home again.
I may invest in an external sound card because the sound card currently sounds distorted on quite a bit of stuff.

We will see how it all goes.

I am hopeful that I get a paycheck tomorrow.

My cash flow is very low.

I want to keep some of it in the bank for emergency.
I also need to pay down some of my huge pile of credit card debt.

I need to be looking for better opportunity for making some money on the side if I am going to keep this job up.

I try to stay focused. I keep getting the message if I focus on the strength of God and my purpose, then all will be in divine order.

With about 15 minutes till 5, I wrap thing up at the office.

Two Job Tuesday

Today is another two job Tuesday.

I woke up very early, as I fell asleep without dinner last night very early.
When I awoke, all of my lights were on and had been on the entire night.
I didn't expect to really go to sleep. I was just laying down for a second feeling a bit tired.

I arrived at work pretty early. I just hid a bit so I wouldn't be bothered until I was scheduled to be there. I tried to help my assistant with a few things, but my efforts only seemed to frustrate her more. She stormed out of work several minutes early. I tried not to make too much of it. I know there are quite a bit of things that are bothering her that have nothing to do with the work situation.

I still haven't figured out what other days I want to make myself available as a grocery cashier. The truth is, that isn't where I really want to be spending more my time. I haven't succeeded in creating a place for myself to be able to serve multiple agents at once under my defined rules, so I am going to have to do something.

I want to be spending more of my time doing something more rewarding.
I have ideas, but everywhere I look, it seems the doors are locked. Maybe I should be checking the windows, or looking for keys, maybe I just need to knock!?

This year is more than half over, and I have gotten even further behind on my bills.
My credit card balances are not going down, but at least my credit rating is hovering at a good place.

I have to do something quick, because I seem to be going further and further into debt month by month.

My expenses are set pretty low. I may have to give up my vehicle and sell it for parts so I don't have to continue to pay for insurance for it...as that is close to what I am paying for gas...and then there was that automated red light ticket while turning right on red with someone following closely behind me. Driving is too expensive. I own my vehicle, but it has been costly. Tires, insurance, registration, inspection, gas, it all adds up.

Then again, if I go riding my bike or walking, there really aren't safe ways to cross the street or get around town. I've been in a wreck in a car, and I've been in a wreck on a bicycle. Wrecks in cars seem to be much more tolerable, except for the insurance hikes! Public transit in this city really isn't very nice. The buses don't run often enough or close enough to schedule. The public transit won't get me home from a club at night either. I don't know what I am going to do... I just take it day by day, but right now, each day I seem to be slipping.

I may take a couple steps forward, but I seem to take a few back.

What to do? What to do?

I am staying prayerful, and trying to stay on purpose.
If I stay on purpose, I can't go wrong.

I am a truly believe in the midsts of all of this, God is in control.

All of what I am going through is a learning experience.
I will learn from this, I will grow from this.
This I know. I also know there is more to life than this life!

Monday 7-7-08

My favorite number is 7.

Today is the 7th.

Nothing too spectacular about it.

I went to work on time. A part we had been waiting on for quite a while still hadn't shown up.

When I got home, they were painting the exterior of my apartment.

I got my bird out of his cage for a bit. I looked over the Sunday paper and got a little overwhelmed with it all. I just started feeling quite drained. I fell asleep with all the lights in my house on.

That was pretty much it for Monday.

Church and Family Lunch

Today I made it to worship service at church.
It was a good service and sermon.
I enjoyed the singing.
Afterwards, I went over to my parents house and had a great traditional Fourth of July meal for us.
Baked beans, Eckridge sausage, and potato salad.
I ate quite a bit.
I did a little grocery shopping.
I am pretty worn out.
Its about time for me to get to bed.

Scrub

I did a little cleaning around the apartment.
I cleaned up some dust around the place.
I did quite a bit of laundry.
I didn't do much else though.
I stayed at home the majority of the day.
A friend of mine said he would come over later around 1 pm. He finally showed up about six hours later.
I was just at home cleaning pretty much.

Happy 4th of July

I woke up early with a slight buzz from last night.
I could still taste that hurricane!
I felt great!

Hours have passed like minutes this morning.

I seem to be enjoying my manic high still.

As crazy as everything in this world is, even being in pain, I am happy as can be!
I will enjoy this while it is here, cause I know this is a temporary state.
I am not going on any big spending sprees though! I know better than that! I know these emotions don't make sense.

Jason Mraz is getting some air time on Mix 102.9. I'm yours!

The day has just begun!

Had a blast!

I had a blast tonight!

A good friend of mine picked me up and we went out to see the firework show in Addison.

It was a nice show. I am glad for the freedom I have in this country.
I was thinking about how I hope people don't loose sight of our roots.

We were on the outskirts of the show, so leaving was a breeze.

We also went out to a club. We were some of the first people to arrive. I had a couple of tall huricanes from my favorite bar tender there....GOOOD Stuff! A couple people told me to slow down, lol.... I was fine. I didn't have to drive. I had a great time. We left just before last call and made it home ok.

I think I finally hit that manic high I have been waiting for!

:P

Two Job Tuesday

Just the usual two job Tuesday.

I made it to both jobs just fine.

It was a fairly easy and uneventful day.

Gearing up for the 4th this Wednesday

Last night, I actually had quite a bit of fun on the check stands.

I got to play around with some persuasion techniques. I was getting money out of people for prostate cancer research and education. I did pretty well. I was only there a few hours and collected about $15. Thats about half what I collected for myself by working there! The a smile and direct eye contact with enthusiasm is quite effective.

I am a little better as far as pain goes today.
Still had a mild migraine (yes some are more intense than others).
I stopped by my doctor's office and gave them a note and let them know that I was out of Immitrex. I haven't heard back from them.

This Wednesday, it seems that not many people are hanging around the office.
I did get a couple of orders in and out.
I have been waiting on a part for our color printer for a few days.
I am concerned it may not show up before the Fourth of July Weekend.

Not much else going on really.

Just another day at the office.

Tense Tuesday

This Tuesday, I woke up in quite a bit of pain.

My right shoulder was hurting quite a bit(T4 in my neck actually and a line of pain extending from it).
My muscles were tight and my body unbearably stiff.
I soaked in a hot tub of water for about an hour trying to get moving to where I could turn my head enough to be able see to drive. I took an aspirin and a Tylenol and my regular dose of Klonopin. I relaxed myself to the point I fell asleep for a couple of hours.

I woke up surprised that I had fallen asleep so long and ate a quick salad before I ran out the door to work running a few minutes behind.

I calculated how much getting some time off is for the Fourth of July weekend is going to cost me in lost hours. It came up to about $150. Arg! Why did it have to fall on a Friday this year?! Oh well. I am sure everything is in divine order.

I am beginning to wonder how well aligned I am with that order though.

I will be switching hats in a few hours and getting on the check stands.
I will probably be in a meditative state at work taking the best care of my body as possible while working on the check stands.

I begin to relax.

I re-affirm that my every need is being met.
I have enough food to eat to survive. I have a relatively safe place to sleep at night. I have a way to get to and from work. My brain still functions pretty well. I have all my fingers and all my toes. I have family. I serve a Living Loving God.
God is my strength and my salvation.

What is there to be tense about?

I pray for peace and relaxation to fill my body and overflow to those around me.

God Bless the Earth!